So here I am, I have thought about, meditated on and discussed this for a few years now, and finally today I decide to start... why has it taken me so long? Well apart from being pregnant, birthing or breast feeding for the last 7 years...Perfectionism has posed as my ally for as long as I can remember. A bully that functions like a driving force! a strong hold that constricts life, promising failure and disappointment at each turn.
Perfectionism’s biggest collaborator, Procrastination, also has a part to play in my story and needs to be held accountable. At times procrastination would step aside, only to be surpassed by Perfectionism. Yes the two “P’s” would render me powerless and immobile to embark on this writing journey.
But today is the day I begin at 2.42pm with exactly 18 minutes before I have one arising from a doze on the couch, one waking from a sleep and the 3rd needing to be picked up from school. How quickly 18 minutes can pass when you have that entire 18 minutes to yourself, as opposed to the eternity it can feel when you are faced with a crying toddler, whinging preschooler or determined 6 year old.
12 minutes now remain, as a phone call from school is answered, a coffee group text is read and a child related email is received and sent.... But still I sit, determined to press on, savouring the silence and relishing the uninterrupted thought process, because it is time.
It is my time to write and reflect, to record and to process my thoughts and feelings, my hopes and dreams, my fears and anxieties, my successes and failures, my observations and experiences, my vision and of course my reality.... as a stay at home mother of 3!!!
A mother of three beautiful children, - the first born, our ‘Precious’ spirited one, - the second born, our ‘Special’ sensitive one and our third born, our ‘Gorgeous’ delightful one.
3 children that are unique who fight for their place in the family.
Well time is up, the minutes have ticked by and the baby monitor is calling. How wonderful it was to sit and begin the journey even if it was just for a few minutes ... at least I know now that ...
I'll be back!
image by Sam Judson
Well done, ImperfectMum! You were brave and finally did it—hit the publish button! And it looks great.
ReplyDeleteYour first three posts make for good reading, too. They put a smile on my face (especially since I know what went on behind the scenes, during the making of this blog). :-)
As I've said all along, "you can do eet!"
Looking forward to your next post.
Yay! Good to finally read.....!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, I read this and thought, "wait a minute, did I write that and just don't remember?" I too, am a melancholic sanguine, a mixed-up personality type that keeps me on my toes, and I am also a mum (of 2, about to be 3). You are so right about perfectionism and procrastination going hand-in-hand. Parenthood has chilled me out so much though, which is a relief!
ReplyDeleteI really look forward to reading more!
LM x
It is so refreshing to have such a real perspective on life and parenthood rather than polishing it for public view. It helps feel normal : ) well done on taking the courage to write and share it with us
ReplyDeleteKeryn
x
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support, yes I finally did do it! ahhh a sigh of relief.... now I need to just keep doing it! Yes real stuff is what you will find here at Confessions of an Imperfect Mum, although the more real often the more raw...
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