Picture Perfect Afternoon

It was set to be a picture perfect afternoon... 

A birthday celebration for Special and Gorgeous,

Coffee and cake...

So what went wrong?

Or should I say what went right? 

It was a shaky start given we were all suffering from a case of Rugby World Cup’itis, and I had experienced an unfortunate bout of insomnia the night prior (which may have been attributed to my sneaky midnight sugar victory indulgence)?

The reality of my meagre 3 hours sleep kicked in as I faced the task ahead... to recreate the famous Rainbow Cake.  With 3 tired rugrats under my feet I diligently lined up my mixing bowls, spoons and gel colours. 

How difficult could this be? 

Just follow the recipe and remember to substitute the eggs for egg replacer to accommodate Precious’s egg allergy.  So far so good until the first batch of primary colours were out of the oven and began cooling, sinking, and developing a crunchy exterior.  arrgghhh the egg replacer was the culprit. 

As layer upon layer got the same result I began to unravel....

The Man, who was eager to help ease the burden of the rainbow cake, made the suggestion I abandon ship and a quick trip to the supermarket for a cream sponge would suffice.  I was aghast, succumb to and serve a store bought sponge for coffee and cake!

What would people think?  What would I think?

No I couldn’t, I would press on.  An extra measure of perseverance and a few long black’s later saw me trimming, stacking, icing and salvaging my homemade rainbow cake. 

As the birthday preparations went on I confess there were some growls, tears and a few shouts here and there (to be fair I had been running on 3 hours sleep).  So in order to make amends with Special I enlisted his help in my last minute decision to whip up some homemade hummus.

It was fatal... 

Against my better judgement I allowed him to spoon the hummus directly into my “serving dish” and my reminder to hold the dish coincided perfectly as he lost his grip and we watched it smash into a zillion pieces splattering hummus onto every surface of the freshly cleaned kitchen. 

A speedy wipe up and vacuum soon rectified the problem, just in time to see the clock strike 3pm and the first of the family to arrive.  I ran through my checklist... House tidy, MOB nicely presented, nibbles done, coffee brewed and of course cake freshly baked and ready to be eaten. 

We were on! but by this stage so was my thumping headache, frazzled nerves and fractious children! 

All of my efforts to host (my notion) of a picture perfect afternoon were undone in minutes... an excited and frenzied wee left the toilet needing some serious attention, chips scattered the floor, dip slopped on the coffee table.  Before my eyes in slow motion, the giant puzzle box was upended in the middle of the lounge and hundreds of pieces of Bob the Builder, Thomas and Bananas in Pyjamas covered my floor begging to be reassembled. 

Faster than fast the kids carefully chosen “birthday outfits” were tossed aside and superhero costumes donned (more fitting for the occasion I was told).  Then rivalry broke out as Special and Gorgeous became super possessive and somewhat aggressive over their new gifts, and poor Precious could not get a look in. 

By cake time, the kids were too tired to appreciate the WOW factor, my niece innocently questioned the cake’s sunken middle (although I had endeavoured to pack it with an abundance of cream cheese icing), and Precious decided he did not like the taste of the cake that had been so painstakingly tailored to suit his dietary requirements and politely passed on a piece. 

With cake in hand, I finally slumped on the couch in utter exhaustion.  It was a shame it had taken me this long to come to the end of myself, to admit defeat and confess that...

“Today was not a great day”!

and to face the reality of what had just played out before my eyes.  What had I subjected the family too in order to portray this illusion of Happy Families? 

Because the truth was... we were not a happy family on this particular coffee and cake day.

We were not even content, we were in fact a tired, grumpy, grizzly, whinging, quarrelling MOB that was trying our hardest (by my influence of course) to fake it until we could make it.  But unfortunately we did not make it, instead we were exposed, I was exposed, because as the afternoon wore on the cracks began to show... 

The polite smile wore off, tension rose, and the loving guidance dissipated.  Exhibiting an “I’ve had enough”, “take us as you find us” kind of attitude we were finally being real. 

It wasn’t particularly picture perfect but it was strangely liberating. 

On reflection of the day’s events I had to come clean with myself that I did in fact have opportunities to make better choices throughout the day.  Instead, as a result of my imperfections and insecurities I chose to remain fixated on my own agenda of trying to plan and pull off a “picture perfect” coffee and cake.  A big mistake!

Humbled, apologetic and desperate for some sleep, I recalled a quote in a post I had recently written on "making good choices".  Aristotle said,  "good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.”  I vowed that I would gain experience from this.

So with this lesson learnt and the clock ticking, with less than 3 months until we host our next “coffee and cake”, 

Either that or invite the family to the inaugural birthday tea and biscuits!


What is your idea of a "picture perfect afternoon"?



image by BHC School of Design Blog

Make Good Choices

"Make good choices" is something I hear myself quoting on a regular basis to my eldest Precious" (or in fact to anyone who cares to listen). 

At 6 years going on 7, he is becoming more aware of his actions, their consequences and his power and ability in making choices.  Not only is this "make good choices" thing an excellent learning opportunity, and skill for life, it just so happens to be an excellent bargaining tool! 

On a day when stress levels are high and harmony is low, when two brothers choose to quibble and quarrel over anything and everything, and a potential play date is looming....

I hear myself calling out the reminder ... "make good choices Precious", "if you want to play with your friend this afternoon, you need to show me you can first be a kind friend to your brother", and just like that, the atmosphere changes.... hugs all round, best friends forever. 

As I carry on my 'duties' and hear teasing, taunting and tension rising, a quick reminder from the kitchen deems fitting.... "Are you making good choices"???   3 x over I am a stuck record, "I hope you are making good choices"!

Just how much mileage can I get from this without having to leave my kitchen post in order to investigate the happenings in the trenches? 

It's at this point Special pipes up in an antaganistic manner "um was that a good choice Precious"?, uh oh it's gone too far, war has broken out and the battle is underway.  I quickly change tactics and move from preventative to a reconciliation strategy.

As I attend to the war wounds and begin to counsel two unhappy soldiers, I ask myself "did I in fact make a good choice in that moment"? and it got me thinking am I making good choices in general.

A quick scan through a typical day in the life with The Mob revealed to me just how many decisions and choices need to be made by me, The Imperfect One on a daily basis. 

Choices in regards to parenting, my health and well being, relationships and personal development, my spirituality, the contribution I make, financial decisions... the list goes on and on.

But what was more daunting was the consequences of these choices and the impact, be it big or small on each one of us.  As the weight of this responsibility began to settle on me and the perfectionist tendencies started to rise, I read this from Aristotle "Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” 

I liked it, it kind of let me off the hook, eased the burden and striving of having to make good or perfect choices.  The reality is, sometimes we have to make a call and do the best we can in the moment, knowing that we could in fact be making a mistake (or gaining experience as Aristotle suggests).

So this whole "gain experience" thing could be my next big craze.

Although, shouting out "gain some good experience" from the other end of the house just doesn't have the same ring to it!

How is your decision making lately, good, bad or otherwise?