TV or not TV that is the Question

I am beginning to see a pattern.

When there is change in the air or stress on the horizon, I can become a little too preoccupied on 'perfecting' for my own good.

Whether it is a morning routine tick chart, or creating nutritious lunch boxes, I have a tendency to go all gungho on my latest and greatest obsession, in an attempt to bring a sense of control to my life. 

And so it was, with the latest school holidays looming and the impending stress in which they could entail, that I started to analyse screen time and found myself asking, TV or not TV, that is the question?

Most sane people would interject at this point and warn that school holidays is not the time to be a martyr and question TV viewing. 

But I was!

Determined to avoid the effects of too much TV time over the holidays.

Of course it is not just TV anymore, it is a whole lot more prevalent now with DVD's, Wii, Xbox, PlayStation, and the net (thankfully we are not proud owners of all of the above culprits).

Before you know it the kids are having a screen fest and I have observed that this "screen" stuff can be rather addictive.  Just one more episode, just one more game, just one more level...

Now I am in no means against TV, for in times gone by the TV and I forged a close relationship.  I found it to be most obliging to babysit Precious on his frequent 5.30am risings, playing reruns of our knight in shining armour... Thomas!

Nowadays, it's the power of the pig.  Pepper Pig,  a little female snorting pig, along with her brother George who somehow manages to simultaneously stimulate, educate and entertain a 7, 4 and 2 year old!

Of course in a perfect world my lot would sleep in, consume a large nutritious breakfast (and clean up after themselves), venture outside for the day to play happily and creatively, reappearing only for the needs of hydration and refuelling. The mere thought of "screen" a distant memory...

But my reality plays out a little different to that!  Well alot different, and so to meet the needs of all of those that dwell within this home, it was a given, we need screen time!

But how much was the question?

I confess there have been times I have been tempted to take things to the extreme and crank up the lap top to provide a third and alternative viewing experience, to accommodate the 3 different ages and stages of interest and development. 

And in more dire times when desperate for a "moment" of peace and quiet I have been known to threaten "quiet TV time or time out"!

Finding a happy medium was now my objective.

And I took a rather radical approach. 

Instead of setting limits for TV time (knowing the energy required to instigate, negotiate and adjudicate these limits), I decided to allow the kids the freedom and responsibility to "self televise" something like "self medicating" although a little less hazardous to the health.

Some may call it irresponsible... I called it survival!

So how did we go?

Well the results are in and surprise surprise, this new found freedom meant the kids watched less TV than normal and we all lapped up the benefits as a result.

Will this tactic continue for the term?  Most definitely not!  We may test the waters again as the next school holidays draw near, but in the meantime...


What do you think?  TV, friend or foe?

 

A little bit of "ish"

I am right in the thick of it!

1 week down and 1 to go...

School holidays have rolled around again at an alarming rate and have caught me a little off guard.

As a rule I would normally be prepped and planned, armed with a schedule of play dates and activities to accommodate and hopefully please the Mob.  

But surprisingly, this time round I found myself slightly unprepared and a tad nervous of the "unknown" ahead. 

In spite of my ad hoc approach, I am pleased to report that with one week down and only a couple of minor hiccups along the way, we passed the test and have come out the other side.

However after today, and as I stare down the barrel of another 4 energy and intensity packed days of quality time with the MOB, I am beginning to question my need for a school holiday survival strategy for week number 2.

Too easily I can fall prey to the stress and pressure of a "well kept orderly house" and maintenance of a "routine" in order to keep our family ticking over like a well oiled machine.

So it can be a real challenge for this Imperfect (Perfectionist) Mum to throw caution to the wind in order to make things a little easier on herself and adopt the attitude of "a little bit of ish".

A concept a friend of mine introduced me to via a comment she left on my post "Perfect Blog".  She said...

"Setting 'ish' as your standard can be very freeing. Maybe your parenting is consistent-ish. Maybe you're following-ish your exercise plan.  Giving myself a pat on the back for 'ish' achievements has been a great way to silence the perfectionist bully in my own life."

I like the idea of it and have decided to put it to the test.

My take on "a little bit of ish" for the remainder of the school holidays is going to look something like this...

Nutritious-ish, 5+ a day is taking a break and instead the menu will be heavily influenced by convenience, practicality and perhaps some "packaged foods" too.  So self serve breakfast cereals that can be consumed with or without a spoon/milk are stocked and ready to go!

Clean-ish, taking a break from my war on dirt and grime!  Cleaning is so overated these days.  Once clean it is inevitable that my children, clothes, dishes, house etc will become dirty again, (sometimes within minutes) so clean-ish will suffice for the surplus of these holidays.

On time-ish, my days are ususally a race against the clock.  So this stickler for being on time is going to relish the concept of a little "flexi-time".  Getting there when we get there, be it to kindy, an activity, ready for dinner or into bed.

Fair-ish, let's face sometimes life is just not fair!  So I am giving myself permission to not feel guilty when I call a shot that may be deemed NOT FAIR, in the eyes of a particular little person.    

Tidy-ish, perhaps the hardest one to get my head around.  I struggle with my friend's stance that "toys are not mess" when I look around my abode and see toy havoc and chaos in every corner.  But, I am willing to apply a little bit of "ish" and to attempt to embrace the creative and somewhat messy play that goes on in my neck of the woods.

Consistent-ish, the mere thought of being "consistent" can be tiresome, let alone actually doing it.  So I am welcoming the opportunity to be consistent-ish with my parenting and breaking some of my own "rules".  After all, aren't rules made to be broken?

So there you have it, our little bit of "ish".  

I am interested and excited-ish to see how we get on with all of this, and will keep you posted. 


In the meantime what other "ish" ideas do you have?



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What's for dinner?

What's for dinner?

Is the one question that I anticipate (with fear and trepidation) at the same time, every day, without fail!

For to serve up a nutritious and delicious meal, while catering for 5 individual tastes and idiosyncrasies is no mean feat.

Accommodating dairy, nut and egg free for Precious, Special's aversion to "chunks" and "things touching" a love of vegetables for Gorgeous, The Man's partiality to sauces, and my interest in new tastes and sensations, it is a wonder that I am able to produce any meal for us to feast on. 

Let alone 7 nights a week!

So in order to tick all the boxes, and expose my children to cuisine that breaks the "meat and 3 veg" mould I grew up on, I find myself...

trawling through cookbooks
experimenting
replacing
blending
separating
and serving tomato and soy sauce as condiments

All of this discipline and dedication can be rewarding, exhausting and disheartening at the same time.  Knowing that despite my efforts it is unlikely that I am able to simultaneously satisfy The Mob.

So it was with great pleasure the other morning, when I raced out the door, 2 kids in tow, and left the The Man alone with the crock pot, a bunch of ingredients and an open cookbook to decipher and follow.

And even greater pleasure on my return, welcomed by the aromas of dinner, and savouring the knowledge that when asked the age old question "what's for dinner?"

I would be able to say, with glee... "I don't know, ask Dad"!


How does your dinner menu rate?  Do tell!

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Making Memories

Was what we did on a Saturday 
night not too long ago. 

A family memory that is etched into our minds for many years to come.

But unfortunately for all the wrong reasons!

It was our first family movie night, to be one of many, that was until we actually experienced it. 

In preparation for the big occasion I was tempted to strategically place props and paraphernalia so as to photograph and blog about our loving family experience. 

But with the time pressures, stress and chaos to get this event off the ground, all was forgotten as we forged ahead determined to make a memory worth remembering.

And remember it we will, as the worst family movie night! 

Thanks to one Imperfect Mum who was unwavering in her pursuit to make it the most 'perfect' family movie night ever.

Needless to say there was tension in the air and expectations were rising to unrealistic highs. 

This should have been the red flag, yet I pressed on.

Making up time from our delayed dinner, bath, and PJ routine, I was in preparation mode of popping corn, pouring juice and portioning lollies when unbeknown to me, The Man had dragged the single mattress into the lounge to take up front row residence on the lounge floor. 

Not for the purpose of prime viewing, but with the ulterior motive of catching a sneaky nap during Mr Poppers Penguins! 

This was not good, it was a green light to the boys signalling a quick wrestling match, which was not conducive to quiet time and family unity.

Ten minutes into the feature film the questions started.  It was evident the movie had not captured their attention and instead a preoccupation with the  lollies had began.

After enduring another 30 minutes of excessive talking, spilt juice, and the beginnings of a sugar rush kicking in, we pulled rank and pulled the plug on the movie. 

I was disappointed to say the least, and deprived of the opportunity to "experience" and gloat about our first ever family movie night.

The Mob, on the other hand were relieved.

Tired restless children eager to hit the sack, where Precious made it known that he felt it was "the worst family movie night ever".....

I agreed!

The Man was itching to zone out.

I was longing for peace and quiet.

As we settled down to an episode of Downtown Abbey, we drank in and relished our quiet treasured adult time and quickly came to the realisation that we would not be attempting it again in a hurry.

Call it selfishness or wisdom? 

I don't know?

But what I do know, is that for now, our Mob are perfectly capable of creating memories that are fun and good, life giving and spontaneous.  That we do not always need an agenda, let alone a perfect plan, to experience moments of life together that are worth remembering.

We just need to be present, and that is a good thing, because being present is something that I can do! 


Are you making family memories/family traditions? 

How do you do it?

image by freepik

How sweet the sound

                                                      

of silence that is...




We are far from being a quiet household.  

Instead we are a collection of extroverts and "spiritedness", who believe we each have a right to be heard and will passionately compete for airspace and centre stage to tell our story.

 

Excitement, interruptions, tension and turmoil frequently lift our noise level to record breaking highs.  Engulfed in the noise pollution that exists within the confines of my 4 walls, the hope of a moment of hush is something I often long for. 

For it is a rare occasion that the hustle and bustle of life comes to a standstill and I am left alone in the quietness of my thinking for just a moment, to savour the sweet sound of silence. 

It is of course normally a fleeting moment, before life manages to burst in and interrupt it. 

Recently a friend of mine shared that when she was in hospital for a few days she strongly desired to hear the sound of life, and as a mother of 5 you can imagine there is a lot of living going on there! 

This concept seemed foreign to me, and I had to admit that when I am drowning and thrashing about in the sea of racket, I would sooner choose to hear the sound of silence.

With this honest revelation I decided to dig a little deeper to uncover the mystery which lay beneath my loathing of all things noisy.

The truth was surprisingly, all about me!

My belief, that if life is too noisy, then life feels and is out of control. And if life is out of control, then it is a reflection of me failing to keep order and control. 

In other words accepting that I am imperfect (a reoccuring theme one thinks). So I challenged myself, who said that a quiet controlled environment is a true reflection of a family experiencing the essence of life?  

Maybe the sounds of creativity and imagination, assertiveness and confidence, relationship and conflict resolution, and passion and joy, are an expression of freedom and warrant a little air space from time to time? 

So as I soldier on in this war on noise, my hope is that when commotion comes, I can combat my beliefs about noise, and attempt to see the living that is unfolding right before my eyes. 

And instead of desiring the sound of silence, I too, can enjoy the sound of life.

Even if I do have to wear my ear plugs to take the edge off!

How is the noise level in your household?  What do you do to cope?

image by freepik

Picture Perfect Afternoon

It was set to be a picture perfect afternoon... 

A birthday celebration for Special and Gorgeous,

Coffee and cake...

So what went wrong?

Or should I say what went right? 

It was a shaky start given we were all suffering from a case of Rugby World Cup’itis, and I had experienced an unfortunate bout of insomnia the night prior (which may have been attributed to my sneaky midnight sugar victory indulgence)?

The reality of my meagre 3 hours sleep kicked in as I faced the task ahead... to recreate the famous Rainbow Cake.  With 3 tired rugrats under my feet I diligently lined up my mixing bowls, spoons and gel colours. 

How difficult could this be? 

Just follow the recipe and remember to substitute the eggs for egg replacer to accommodate Precious’s egg allergy.  So far so good until the first batch of primary colours were out of the oven and began cooling, sinking, and developing a crunchy exterior.  arrgghhh the egg replacer was the culprit. 

As layer upon layer got the same result I began to unravel....

The Man, who was eager to help ease the burden of the rainbow cake, made the suggestion I abandon ship and a quick trip to the supermarket for a cream sponge would suffice.  I was aghast, succumb to and serve a store bought sponge for coffee and cake!

What would people think?  What would I think?

No I couldn’t, I would press on.  An extra measure of perseverance and a few long black’s later saw me trimming, stacking, icing and salvaging my homemade rainbow cake. 

As the birthday preparations went on I confess there were some growls, tears and a few shouts here and there (to be fair I had been running on 3 hours sleep).  So in order to make amends with Special I enlisted his help in my last minute decision to whip up some homemade hummus.

It was fatal... 

Against my better judgement I allowed him to spoon the hummus directly into my “serving dish” and my reminder to hold the dish coincided perfectly as he lost his grip and we watched it smash into a zillion pieces splattering hummus onto every surface of the freshly cleaned kitchen. 

A speedy wipe up and vacuum soon rectified the problem, just in time to see the clock strike 3pm and the first of the family to arrive.  I ran through my checklist... House tidy, MOB nicely presented, nibbles done, coffee brewed and of course cake freshly baked and ready to be eaten. 

We were on! but by this stage so was my thumping headache, frazzled nerves and fractious children! 

All of my efforts to host (my notion) of a picture perfect afternoon were undone in minutes... an excited and frenzied wee left the toilet needing some serious attention, chips scattered the floor, dip slopped on the coffee table.  Before my eyes in slow motion, the giant puzzle box was upended in the middle of the lounge and hundreds of pieces of Bob the Builder, Thomas and Bananas in Pyjamas covered my floor begging to be reassembled. 

Faster than fast the kids carefully chosen “birthday outfits” were tossed aside and superhero costumes donned (more fitting for the occasion I was told).  Then rivalry broke out as Special and Gorgeous became super possessive and somewhat aggressive over their new gifts, and poor Precious could not get a look in. 

By cake time, the kids were too tired to appreciate the WOW factor, my niece innocently questioned the cake’s sunken middle (although I had endeavoured to pack it with an abundance of cream cheese icing), and Precious decided he did not like the taste of the cake that had been so painstakingly tailored to suit his dietary requirements and politely passed on a piece. 

With cake in hand, I finally slumped on the couch in utter exhaustion.  It was a shame it had taken me this long to come to the end of myself, to admit defeat and confess that...

“Today was not a great day”!

and to face the reality of what had just played out before my eyes.  What had I subjected the family too in order to portray this illusion of Happy Families? 

Because the truth was... we were not a happy family on this particular coffee and cake day.

We were not even content, we were in fact a tired, grumpy, grizzly, whinging, quarrelling MOB that was trying our hardest (by my influence of course) to fake it until we could make it.  But unfortunately we did not make it, instead we were exposed, I was exposed, because as the afternoon wore on the cracks began to show... 

The polite smile wore off, tension rose, and the loving guidance dissipated.  Exhibiting an “I’ve had enough”, “take us as you find us” kind of attitude we were finally being real. 

It wasn’t particularly picture perfect but it was strangely liberating. 

On reflection of the day’s events I had to come clean with myself that I did in fact have opportunities to make better choices throughout the day.  Instead, as a result of my imperfections and insecurities I chose to remain fixated on my own agenda of trying to plan and pull off a “picture perfect” coffee and cake.  A big mistake!

Humbled, apologetic and desperate for some sleep, I recalled a quote in a post I had recently written on "making good choices".  Aristotle said,  "good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.”  I vowed that I would gain experience from this.

So with this lesson learnt and the clock ticking, with less than 3 months until we host our next “coffee and cake”, 

Either that or invite the family to the inaugural birthday tea and biscuits!


What is your idea of a "picture perfect afternoon"?



image by BHC School of Design Blog

Make Good Choices

"Make good choices" is something I hear myself quoting on a regular basis to my eldest Precious" (or in fact to anyone who cares to listen). 

At 6 years going on 7, he is becoming more aware of his actions, their consequences and his power and ability in making choices.  Not only is this "make good choices" thing an excellent learning opportunity, and skill for life, it just so happens to be an excellent bargaining tool! 

On a day when stress levels are high and harmony is low, when two brothers choose to quibble and quarrel over anything and everything, and a potential play date is looming....

I hear myself calling out the reminder ... "make good choices Precious", "if you want to play with your friend this afternoon, you need to show me you can first be a kind friend to your brother", and just like that, the atmosphere changes.... hugs all round, best friends forever. 

As I carry on my 'duties' and hear teasing, taunting and tension rising, a quick reminder from the kitchen deems fitting.... "Are you making good choices"???   3 x over I am a stuck record, "I hope you are making good choices"!

Just how much mileage can I get from this without having to leave my kitchen post in order to investigate the happenings in the trenches? 

It's at this point Special pipes up in an antaganistic manner "um was that a good choice Precious"?, uh oh it's gone too far, war has broken out and the battle is underway.  I quickly change tactics and move from preventative to a reconciliation strategy.

As I attend to the war wounds and begin to counsel two unhappy soldiers, I ask myself "did I in fact make a good choice in that moment"? and it got me thinking am I making good choices in general.

A quick scan through a typical day in the life with The Mob revealed to me just how many decisions and choices need to be made by me, The Imperfect One on a daily basis. 

Choices in regards to parenting, my health and well being, relationships and personal development, my spirituality, the contribution I make, financial decisions... the list goes on and on.

But what was more daunting was the consequences of these choices and the impact, be it big or small on each one of us.  As the weight of this responsibility began to settle on me and the perfectionist tendencies started to rise, I read this from Aristotle "Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” 

I liked it, it kind of let me off the hook, eased the burden and striving of having to make good or perfect choices.  The reality is, sometimes we have to make a call and do the best we can in the moment, knowing that we could in fact be making a mistake (or gaining experience as Aristotle suggests).

So this whole "gain experience" thing could be my next big craze.

Although, shouting out "gain some good experience" from the other end of the house just doesn't have the same ring to it!

How is your decision making lately, good, bad or otherwise?